Online Counseling for Women During and After Divorce

You’re learning how to manage a life that no longer follows the plan you expected.

Online Divorce Counseling for women in Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, and Iowa

What Your Life Looks like During Separation and Divorce

Separation and divorce can turn ordinary days into a long series of decisions. You’re managing work, school forms, pickup times, practices, two households, legal tasks, and communication with your ex. The person you once discussed decisions with is now the person whose messages pull your attention away from everything else.

When your children are with your ex, the house is quieter than you expected. You may have known divorce was the right decision, and still find that the evenings without your children feel strange or lonely. You think about calling a friend, then decide your friends are probably tired of hearing about the separation or divorce. You spend the evening catching up on work, cleaning, scrolling, or making tomorrow’s list because sitting in the quiet leaves too much room to think about what has changed.

You lose your patience with your children and replay the moment for hours afterward. You want to help your kids adjust, but you worry about what they see when you’re tense, distracted, or close to tears. Then your child asks why their other parent doesn’t live at home anymore, and you freeze. You want to answer honestly without burdening them.

In a meeting, you lose track of what someone just asked you. You’re thinking about pickup times, a deadline from your lawyer, and the text your ex sent at lunch. You used to be the one who caught the detail everyone else missed. Now you read the same email, patient chart, or project proposal three times before it sinks in.

Some days you step into the bathroom between meetings to pull yourself together, then walk back in as if nothing’s wrong. You’re still doing your job, but it takes twice the effort. You may have already let a promotion or a big project go by because you couldn’t take on one more demand. And you’re afraid your boss or your coworkers will notice before you get your focus back.

You’ve solved difficult problems before. You know how to prepare, organize, research, and push through. But separation and divorce aren’t problems you can Excel spreadsheet your way out of.

That’s part of what makes this so hard. You’re the one who makes hard situations work, and your marriage is the one part of your life you couldn’t make work. You put off telling your coworkers. You skip the school fundraiser so you won’t have to answer questions, and you stay off social media so no one asks how you’re doing.

Late at night, you keep asking how someone this good at solving problems couldn’t solve this one.

Counseling for Women During Separation, Divorce, or Adjusting to Life After Divorce

You’re still doing what needs to get done: you answer the work emails, manage the parenting schedule, sign the school forms, keep the household running, and respond to messages from your ex.

But a short text from your ex can follow you into a meeting, a difficult custody exchange can leave you tense before your children get in the car, and by the time the day ends, there is little attention or patience left.

I’m Emily Fornwalt, PhD, a licensed therapist who works with women in Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, and Iowa. I provide individual online divorce and separation counseling for professional mothers who are managing work, parenting, and co-parenting demands at the same time.

In divorce counseling, we’ll focus on the interactions and decisions that keep taking more of your day than you want to give them so that you can protect more of your attention and patience for your children, your work, and the life you’re building now.

  • Who I work with: Women who are separated, going through divorce, or adjusting to life after divorce, with a particular focus on professional mothers managing work, solo parenting, and co-parenting demands

  • Where I provide care: Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, and Iowa

  • Format: Secure individual online therapy by video

  • Common concerns my clients come into counseling with: Co-parenting communication, custody exchanges, parenting through separation or divorce, children’s questions and big feelings, trouble focusing at work and worry that colleagues will notice, shame or a sense of failure about the divorce, conflict with an ex, grief about the family life you expected, child-free time that feels lonely or hard to use, and decisions about schedules, home, and finances

  • First session: A 90-minute online intake session, private pay at $450

  • Ongoing sessions: 45-minute weekly online sessions, private pay at $225

How I help My Clients during separation and divorce

In our sessions, we’ll look at the situations that keep pulling your attention away from your work, your children, and the rest of your day. That might be a message from your ex that leaves you tense for hours, a custody exchange you replay on the drive home, or a hard conversation with your child that leaves you unsure what to say next.

We’ll talk about what happens after those moments. You might read a short text, assume the worst, draft and delete a reply, and return to it again after dinner. You might lose your patience with your child after a difficult exchange, then spend the evening criticizing yourself for not handling the day better. You might agree to one more request because saying no feels like one more person being disappointed in you.

We’ll also talk directly about the parts of separation and divorce that hurt, even if you know the marriage needed to end. That can include grief about the family life you expected, missing your children when they’re at the other house, anger about how decisions now get made, relief that the marriage is over, or fear about what comes next.

Together, we’ll look at the decisions that now fall to you: parenting schedules, school concerns, co-parenting communication, work demands, your home, your finances, and how you use the time when your children are away. We’ll pay attention to when you apologize for having a need, agree before checking whether you have the time, or keep reopening a decision because you’re trying to prevent conflict.

Black and white photo of a beach with dead, twisted tree branches and roots in the foreground, calm water, and a cloudy sky in the background.

How counseling after divorce can help you respond differently when emotions take over

In counseling, we’ll slow down the moments when an emotion takes over before you’ve had time to decide what you want to do. We’ll pay attention to what you notice in your body, what you’re feeling, and what you usually do next.

You may recognize an urge to explain, fix, apologize, take on more, or keep the peace. Together, we’ll make room for you to notice that urge before it decides how you respond. Over time, you can practice choosing what fits the situation, your children’s needs, and your own limits.

When divorce follows you to work

You may spend the first ten minutes of a meeting rereading a text from your ex. Or you may finish a call with your lawyer and sit at your desk, unable to start the next task. You may be working twice as hard to hide how hard this is, and that leaves you with less for the work itself.

In therapy, we’ll work with what you feel just before a meeting or just after a text from your ex. Then you can give the meeting your full attention. You can decide what your boss needs to know, if anything, and stop using your energy to hide it. Over time, you can make calls at work without second-guessing them, and you’ll remember that you’re good at your job.

When your ex contacts you

A message from your ex may make your shoulders tighten, your stomach drop, or your mind race toward the worst possible outcome. You may feel the need to explain every detail of a parenting decision before anyone can accuse you of doing something wrong.

In therapy, you can pause before the long reply. You can decide whether the message needs an answer now, later, or at all. You can respond to the part that concerns your child or schedule without defending every choice you’ve made or making it your job to get your ex to agree with you.

When your children need you

A difficult exchange with your ex can leave you angry, tense, or worried when you walk back into the house. Then your child asks a question, refuses to get ready, cries at bedtime, or says something sharp, and your reaction can be bigger than the moment in front of you.

In therapy, you can learn to notice when you’re already at your limit before your voice gets sharp or you say something you regret. You can pause, name what you’re feeling, and return to your child with more patience available. If you do lose your patience, you can come back after you’ve both settled down, apologize for what happened, and try again without treating one hard moment as proof that you’re failing as a mom (hint: you aren’t!).

When you feel responsible for everyone else

During your marriage, you may have learned to avoid conflict by anticipating needs, explaining yourself, taking on more than was yours, or keeping other people comfortable. Separation and divorce can make those habits more visible because the person you once tried to keep happy is now outside your home but still part of decisions about your children.

In therapy, you can notice the moment you agree before checking in with yourself. You can ask whether you’re saying yes because it works for your children, because you want to, or because you’re trying to prevent another adult’s disappointment. You can say no, ask for help, or make a choice without treating someone else’s frustration as a problem you have to solve.

When your children are with Your Ex

The quiet when your children are away can bring up grief, relief, loneliness, anger, or all of those feelings at once. You may work, clean, scroll, or keep busy because sitting in the quiet brings up the family life you expected or leaves you wondering what your children are doing without you.

In therapy, you can talk honestly about those feelings without having to decide whether you should be sad, relieved, angry, or grateful. You can sit with what comes up without filling every hour or judging yourself for how you use the time. Over time, you can make room for rest, friendship, and time that belongs to you without using work or chores to avoid the quiet.

When you’re making decisions on your own

Separation and divorce can leave you making decisions about your children, home, money, work, and future without the shared process you once had. You may worry about making the wrong choice, feel guilty about what your children will lose, or spend more time predicting how your ex will react than considering what you think is best.

In therapy, you can separate the fear that comes with making a decision from the information you need to make it. You can consider what your children need, what you want, and what you can realistically take on. You can make a decision without spending the next several nights replaying every possible outcome or treating disagreement as proof that you chose “wrong.”

When you feel like you failed

You’re used to succeeding when you work hard enough. So the end of your marriage can feel like proof that you weren’t good enough, smart enough, or careful enough. You may replay what you missed, what you should have said, or how long you stayed. And you may dread the moment someone asks how your spouse is doing.

In therapy, you can talk about the shame openly, with someone who won’t rush you to “you’re better off.” You can look honestly at what happened in your marriage, including what was and wasn’t in your control. Then you can stop treating the divorce as a verdict on whether you’re capable. Over time, you can tell a coworker or another school parent that you’re divorced without dreading their reaction. You can trust your own judgment again, at work and at home.



What It’s Like to Work With Me

We’ll work together

You won’t be handed a list of things to accomplish alone between sessions. I’ll bring ideas, questions, and observations; you’ll tell me what resonates, what doesn’t, and what I’m missing. We’ll adjust as we go.

I’ll notice your strengths, even when you roll your eyes

When you’re tired, frustrated, or convinced you’re messing everything up, it can be hard to see what you’re doing well. I’m good at noticing the resourcefulness, care, and persistence you’re using to get through your life. You’re allowed to roll your eyes when I point it out; that happens sometimes.

I’ll be direct without talking like a therapist on TV

I’ll be honest with you, and I won’t hide behind clinical jargon or a carefully neutral therapist voice. If I say something that doesn’t fit, I want you to tell me. We can talk about it, correct course, and keep going.

There will probably be laughter

Therapy can include difficult conversations, grief, anger, and real work. It can also include laughing at the absurd parts of your life, developing inside jokes, and getting a break from taking everything quite so seriously. I won’t force humor, but I will make room for it when it helps.

Dr. Emily Fornwalt sitting outside on a windowsill
Dr. Emily Fornwalt, divorce therapist, standing and leaning against a wall.

i’m Dr. Emily Fornwalt, Divorce Counselor for Women

Welcome!

I’m Emily Fornwalt, PhD, a licensed therapist who works with divorcing women in Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, and Iowa.

I work primarily with professional mothers who are managing work, parenting, and co-parenting while their family life is changing.

Many of the women I work with are used to being capable, responsible, and prepared. They don’t need another person to tell them to make a list, try harder, or manage their time better. They need a place to slow down and understand what happens when a message from an ex, a difficult handoff, or a hard moment with a child brings up anger, fear, guilt, grief, or the urge to keep everyone else comfortable.

I use evidence-based methods that help clients notice what happens in their bodies and emotions before they automatically explain, fix, apologize, take on more, or avoid conflict. Together, we’ll work on responding in ways that fit your needs, your children’s needs, your values, and the life you’re living now.

If you’d like to know more about me than fits in a short blurb, please click the link below.


How to Get Started in Counseling

I provide online individual counseling for adult women during separation and divorce in Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia, and Iowa.

All sessions take place by secure, HIPAA-compliant telehealth. You’ll need a private place where you can speak freely and a reliable internet connection.

  • Your first session is a 90-minute paid intake appointment and it costs $450. A paid 90-minute appointment gives us both enough time and information to know if working together will be the right fit long-term.

  • Ongoing sessions are 45 minutes weekly, and cost $225 per session.

  • Please note, I am not in-network with insurance and cannot bill them directly. I don’t provide Superbills.

Choose a day and time for your first 90-minute online session on my secure calendar by clicking the button below. Once you choose your date and time, I will approve your request and email you the new client forms within 1 business day. You’ll review and digitally sign the forms, and then we’ll meet for your scheduled intake session.

FAQs About Counseling During Separation & Divorce

Questions women often ask before scheduling

If you are separated, considering divorce, going through the divorce process, or adjusting to life after divorce, you may have practical questions about working together. The answers below cover the questions that come up most often.

→ Don’t see your question listed? Please see my FAQ page.

Have a practical question before Scheduling? Send me a message below.

If you have a question before you schedule, send it here and I’ll reply personally within two business days. This form is private and secure, so you’re welcome to share as much or as little as you’d like about what’s bringing you to therapy.

This form is only checked during regular business hours, so if you’re in crisis or need help right away, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.

How do you prefer to be contacted? (required)

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Fees and insurance (required)

Your first session with me is 90 minutes for $450, and each ongoing 45-minute session is $225. I work with clients directly rather than through insurance, so I don’t bill insurance companies or provide Superbills (itemized receipts for out-of-network reimbursement).

Online Divorce Counseling for Women

I’m licensed in five states, and each state page explains how online counseling works where you live.