Counseling for Working Moms in Iowa City, Iowa
Online Therapy for Moms in Iowa City, Iowa | Dr. Emily Fornwalt, PhD, LMHC
Mixed Feelings About Your Career as a Working Mom
You like your job. At work, people know you for your ideas, not for whose mom you are. For eight hours a day, you get to be someone besides “Mom.”
Loving your work comes with mom guilt, though. On the drive home, you notice that you enjoyed your day, and then you feel guilty for enjoying it. You picture your son at daycare at 5pm, one of the last kids waiting, and you wonder what kind of mom likes being away. At dinner, you keep your work stories to yourself, because talking about a job you love feels like bragging about time away from your kids.
Other people have opinions about your career, too. Your mother-in-law asks when you’re going to cut back at work. A coworker assumes you won’t want the project that needs travel, so she doesn’t ask you. After a while, you can’t tell whether you agree with them or you’ve just heard it so often that it sounds true.
So you second-guess yourself. When your manager offers you a big project, you worry that saying yes means giving less to your kids, so sometimes you turn it down. Then you wonder if you’re giving up on yourself. After a hard week at work, you wonder if you can handle a big career and a family at the same time. You go over these choices in the shower and in the car, on top of the grocery list and the dentist appointments you’re already keeping track of.
You’re good at your job, and you love your family. You don’t want to give up either one. You want to enjoy your career without the mom guilt and the second-guessing, and you’re ready to work on that.
Why Working Moms Feel Guilty About Loving Their Careers
Before you had kids, your career could take up as much time as it needed. You could stay late, travel, and say yes to the big project. Now every hour at work is an hour away from your kids, so you weigh your job against them every day.
Under all that second-guessing, there’s often a harder question about what you’re allowed to want.
Maybe you learned early that a good mom puts her kids first every time. Maybe you also learned that a good employee never says no. When you want more from your career, you feel guilty for breaking the first rule. When you want less, you feel like you’re breaking the second one.
Trying to follow both rules at once wears you out. A hard week at work starts to look like proof that you should quit, and a sick day at home starts to look like proof that you never should have gone back. Because you rarely talk about these rules out loud, you never get to check whether those rules still fit the life you have now.
Career guilt is one of several struggles I help working moms with. I also help with mom guilt at home, the mental load, and feeling like you’re falling short both at work and with your kids.
→ You can read more on my counseling for professional moms page.
How I Help Working Moms in Iowa City With Career Guilt
I’m Dr. Emily Fornwalt, a licensed mental health counselor in Iowa. I work online with moms in Iowa City who love their careers but feel guilty about it. Many of my clients second-guess how much of themselves they should give to work.
In our sessions, we’ll take a close look at the moments when the guilt and second-guessing are strongest, like after a good day at work or when your mother-in-law asks when you’ll cut back. We’ll notice what you feel in those moments, such as fear or sadness, and what you tell yourself about it. Then we’ll trace where those feelings and beliefs started.
Much of our work involves feelings you’ve pushed aside for years, like pride in your work or sadness about how fast your kids are growing. When you can feel them fully with someone beside you, you don’t have to keep pushing them away. Then it gets easier to know what you want.
I keep my caseload small on purpose so I remember your story from week to week. I’ll know what your mother-in-law said at Sunday dinner and how you felt about the project you said yes to.
How Counseling Helps Working Moms in Iowa City.
Living with mom guilt and career doubt for years has a price. You might stop chasing your career ambitions because part of you thinks that, as a mom, you shouldn’t want them in the first place. Or you stay in a job that doesn’t fit because leaving would feel like failing.
Our therapy sessions will help you to make your career choices from what you want instead of from guilt or fear.
You can stop going after the projects you care about because part of you thinks a good mom wouldn’t want them. You can also quit a job you love after one bad week, or stay in a job that doesn’t fit because leaving would feel like failing. Our work helps you understand what you feel, so you can make career choices from what you want instead of from guilt or fear.
You used to feel guilty every time you wanted more at work, because wanting more for your career felt like giving less to your kids. So you turned down the big projects. In our sessions, you feel that guilt, learn where it started, and see that wanting a bigger role doesn’t make you a worse mom. The next time your manager offers you the lead on a new project, you say yes. By spring, you’re leading the project, and your career is moving forward again.
You used to treat every hard week at work as proof that you couldn’t handle a big career and a family at the same time. Now, when a deadline slips and you hear yourself think, “Maybe I can’t do both,” you answer that thought the way you’d answer a friend. You remind yourself that one hard week doesn’t mean you’re failing at work or at home. Because you don’t quit in a hard moment, you keep the career and the income you worked for.
When your mother-in-law asked when you’d cut back at work, you used to argue with her in your head for days. Now you tell her you love your job, and you change the subject. You know you want to keep working, even if she wants something different for you, so you stop replaying her question after Sunday dinner.
After a good day at work, you used to feel guilty on the drive home, as if enjoying your job meant you didn’t miss your son. Now you let yourself feel proud of the work you did. You walk into daycare glad to see him, and you don’t feel like you have to apologize to anyone for loving your job.
You used to feel guilty every time you wanted more at work, because a bigger career felt like giving less to your kids. So you turned down the big projects. In our sessions, you feel that guilt, learn where it started, and see that wanting a bigger role doesn’t make you a worse mom. When the next project that needs travel comes up, you tell your manager you want it before anyone decides for you. By spring, you’re leading that project, and your career is moving forward again.
About dr. emily fornwalt, PhD, LMHC
Therapist for Professional Moms in Iowa City, Iowa
I’m Dr. Emily Fornwalt, a licensed therapist with a PhD in Counseling from UNC Charlotte. I work with professional moms who love their careers but feel guilty about it, and who want to stop second-guessing every choice about work.
I provide secure online therapy for women in Iowa, Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Virginia.
How to get started in Counseling
Prices and logistics:
Sessions are 45 minutes, usually once a week, and cost $225 each. Your first session is a 90-minute intake, and it costs $450.
My practice is private pay. I don’t bill insurance, and I don’t provide superbills, which are the receipts for out-of-network reimbursement. Because I don’t bill insurance, no information about our sessions goes to an insurance company.
I work online with moms in Iowa, Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Virginia, and you’ll need to be in one of those states during each session. My practice is based in Eastern Time, which is one hour ahead of Iowa.
Self-Schedule here:
Choose an appointment time through my HIPAA-compliant calendar using the button below.
I’ll review your request and confirm it, usually within one business day. Then you’ll get your new client forms by email and a text from IvyPay asking you to add a card.
Log on for your first session at the time you scheduled, using the secure video link in your confirmation.
Have a practical question before Scheduling? Send me a message below.
If you have a question before you schedule, send it here and I’ll reply personally within two business days. This form is private and secure, so you’re welcome to share as much or as little as you’d like about what’s bringing you to therapy.
This form is only checked during regular business hours, so if you’re in crisis or need help right away, please call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room.
Thank you for your message.
I’ll reply personally within two business days.
Areas Served in Iowa City
I’m licensed in Iowa as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC #140678), and I work with moms across the Iowa City area through secure, HIPAA-compliant Google Meet.
This includes:
Iowa City neighborhoods, including Downtown, Northside, Goosetown, Longfellow, Manville Heights, College Hill, Morningside-Glendale, Shimek, Peninsula, Windsor Ridge, and Lucas Farms
Coralville, North Liberty, University Heights, and Tiffin
Nearby Johnson County towns, including Solon, Swisher, Shueyville, Hills, Lone Tree, and Oxford
Towns in Washington County, including Kalona, Riverside, Wellman, and Washington